The Practice of Letting Go
Letting go is a process. It is sometimes painful, sometimes effortless but should be continuous. In this piece, we’re not talking about burning everything that once belonged to your ex, sending angry text messages, having a big cry or dancing the pain away (though the last bit sounds fun).
We’re talking about facing up to the emotions and the pain. We know, angry texts and tears are beginning to sound a lot more appealing now… but stay with us. You don’t want to push down the pain, you want to give it space. You need to honour what was while learning to forgive them and yourself. Here are two ways of doing it:
1. PUT PEN TO PAPER
Writing can be cathartic. It allows us to release pent up emotions and hurts that we’d usually never allow on the surface. This is for all the words we never got to say - to ourselves or to others.
- All you need is pen, paper and the courage to be honest with yourself.
- Understand that this is your space and no one needs to read it.
- Picture the person you’d like to write to.
- It could be yourself, it could be a friend, family member or ex partner.
- It could be a failed relationship that’s searching for closure.
- Write what hurts and express what you’ve been holding on to.
- Only go as far as you’d like.
- When you’re done, do what feels comfortable for you:
- Tear the paper to shreds, tuck it away in a journal or toss it in the fire.
- Be kind and gentle with yourself. It takes courage to do what you just did.
2. SEE THEM AGAIN
No, we’re not talking physically. This is a visualisation exercise and it could help you discover closure and rewrite the ending of a painful past.
- Find a quiet spot in a comfortable space.
- Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
- Visualise the person you’d like to let go of, standing before you.
- Look them in the eye and let them know how you really feel.
- Give yourself permission to say what you’ve always wanted to say.
- When you feel like you’re done, take three more deep breaths
- Breathe in the possibility of new beginnings
- Breathe out the pain and what no longer serves you
- Do this with the intention of creating space for yourself and for healing to begin.
Come back to these practises as often as you need and treat them as a form of self-care. It’s like yelling from the top of a mountain but we’re bringing the mountain to you.
Note: If you are dealing with a deeper hurt, trauma or emotions you can’t seem to grasp, we do recommend seeking professional help. At The Indigo Project, we have a team of practitioners who can work with you through your pain.
We’ve recently had Aylin Dulagil join us. Aylin is a Senior Psychologist who has helped clients work through relationships and communication issues, anxiety, stress and trauma. Her passion lies in helping clients work with their emotions through an approach that’s grounded in warmth, empathy and support.