When it comes to being in a loving relationship, there’s a million and one ways we can show our affection. From candlelit dinners, to doing the laundry and making the time for a loving squeeze, we’re all drawn to showing love in our own unique ways.
But did you know that getting close and comfortable with the five love languages can make a world of a difference to your relationship? By understanding that the two of you likely gravitate towards differing love languages, you’ll be able to make sure you’re giving each other exactly what you need. Who says love needs to get lost in translation?
What are the five love languages?
First things first, love languages refer to the five different ways of expressing and receiving love. They are: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. We all communicate our love in a different way, and at the same time, we all have different ways that we prefer receiving love.
Coined by Gary Chapman, in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, the concept has helped millions of folk around the world navigate giving and receiving love in their relationships. According to experts on the subject, discovering you and your partner’s primary love language can foster both personal and relationship growth. Doesn’t that sound like a dream?
Words of Affirmation
Lovers who get around compliments, verbal encouragement and abundant “I love you’s”, raise your hand! Written and verbal language is a big one for you, and expressions of love in this light make you feel understood and appreciated.
Is this your partner’s love language? Take the time to authentically express yourself and let them know you’re thinking of them. You might also like to tell them you love them a little more often, or give them a genuine compliment!
Quality Time
If spending quality time with your partner makes your knees go weak, it’s likely that this is your love language. For these folk, there’s no greater act of love than actively carving out time to spend with your partner. Bonus points for active listening, eye contact and full presence!
Is this your partner’s love language? Shower them with your undivided attention without getting distracted by the television, your phone or anything external. Spark meaningful conversations and share special moments together!
Acts of Service
Love it when your partner goes out of their way to make your life a little easier? Acts of service is probably your love language. Whether they’re bringing you soup when you’re sick, or keeping your clothes spick and span through a crazy work period, this is the love language for folk who feel that actions speak louder than words.
Is this your partner’s love language? Try showing them how much they mean to you, rather than telling them. Ticking off smaller (or even bigger) chores to make their lives easier will mean the world to them.
Gifts
If ribbon-wrapped gifts or just-because-donuts are up your alley, you might speak in the love language of receiving gifts. For people who like gifts, it’s not about the monetary value – instead, gift giving is a visual symbol of love. Folk who like to receive gifts recognise the emotional process behind receiving a gift, and feel a lot of love from the gesture.
Is this your partner’s love language? Pick up their favourite pastry on your way home from work, surprise them with flowers and recognise their achievements with a little note of love.
Physical Touch
If you can’t get enough of skin-on-skin lovin’, your love language might be physical touch. From kissing, to holding hands, cuddling on the couch and having sex, physical intimacy means a lot to these folk. People like this value the affirmation of physical warmth and love and feel appreciated by it.
Is this your partner’s love language? Try making an effort to kiss and hug your partner goodbye, prioritising before-bed cuddles, and using gestures of touch when comforting them.
