First dates can evoke a whole array of feelings. Heck, it can seem like you’re preparing for the battlefield at times. We asked photographer Bradley Scott to share his first-hand experiences from the land of first dates.
Aahhhhh the joy. Meeting a complete stranger to assess if you’re compatible to watch movies and plan holidays together, potentially have some kids and live happily ever after. Who doesn’t love showing someone a side of your personality very few people get to see in the hope they’ll like it and want to explore further? There is the chance for that thing we’re all searching for in life: Love. There is also a high potential to receive that one thing we all fear: Rejection.
Some people can take rejection or disappointment in their stride; it seems so easy for them. “Hello, how are you? Do you like this? Do you enjoying doing that? No? Ok no worries have a nice life, seeya around”. Kudos to the people who are so confident in themselves that they are not at all worried about the what others think of their current career path (i.e. some of us may not be where we thought we would be by now). Some people seem not to be stressed about finding love within a timely manner, or about the hair on their body, or their current weight. I don’t know about you, but I used to worry like crazy that the conversation would steer towards my career, money, my opinion on children and marriage; until I went on a few first dates and realise that stuff isn’t really discussed until a little further down the line.
The reason is – no one wants to talk about that! Everyone is scared of those discussions and the realisation that we are all in the same boat made the whole process that much easier for me. Once I found out that I wasn’t alone in my reservations to dating, suddenly it didn’t seem so bad. If it turned out not being such a great date, I still got out of the house, I still put myself out there, I still enjoyed that glass of wine; and that in itself made me feel great!
It’s 2016, and if you are heading out for a first date I’m going to take a wild guess and say you have probably met this person online? Tinder perhaps? It’s just the way it is nowadays. I know some people that are embarrassed by that, but frankly there’s no need. You have access to some of the basic information you are looking for before you even meet face to face. You also have the opportunity to suss out whether their personality reflects your own in a positive way, before having to sit in front of them and have an awkward conversation. I’ve heard many horror stories from friends of mine, and trust me I have my own from internet dating but I think it’s a great tool that you can use to your advantage.
I think my biggest achievement in my adult dating life is coming to the realisation that not all people are going to like me, just like I don’t like all people. Some people will find me attractive, some won’t; and its not anything to do with me, it’s just down to what that specific person likes. This realisation almost immediately overpowered that fear of rejection and allowed me to be myself without worrying if she would like me or not. First dates should be fun and I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves. Get out there, be yourself, and if it doesn’t work out at least you got a free drink out of it (hopefully)!